giving up

I recently read Nancy Beach’s blog entry "Every Five Seconds and was pretty convicted. I sent the link to a group of my grad school friends, and we have been discussing what each of us could give up for a month or two. They have some great ideas of things they are going to do. However, I have been at a loss for good ideas.

In trying to come up with a down payment for my house (yes! I am in the process of buying a house!), I have already cut a lot of things out of my life. Plus, I kinda think of myself as living pretty simply…and for that statement, I’m sure I will be reprimanded…but, alas, I eat very little meat, hardly “go out”, get movies from the library instead of the movie store, try not to be excessive in my use of heat…etc. I thought about giving up long showers which would honestly be a big sacrifice for me as that is one of my favorite times of the day, but I don’t pay the water bill…my landlords do, so that wouldn’t save me any money which is the point. As my friends and I give things up, we are giving the money saved to each of our chosen charities. I thought about giving up my “starbucks” coffee, but this proves to be difficult as well, because that is a piece of my ministry. I bond with volunteers while drinking it. Then, I considered having my Sunday lunch bunch over to my home instead of going out, but honestly, we eat for such a minimal amount, that I don’t think we could save money by cooking at my home.

So, today I got in the car and went to Target. After I ran my errands, I chose Cub Foods instead of Econo Foods because Cub has better flowers. I walk in and get my groceries, and then I am standing there looking at the flowers trying to decide between the tulips, the gerbera daisies, and the astro-whatevers, and I then realize that God is asking me to give up my flowers. Quite frustrated, I walked away and then tried to justify it in all sorts of different ways. “I am hosting people for supper…I need to have a centerpiece.” “Minnesota winters are sooooo long….I just really think having flowers inside helps my attitude.” etc, etc. In the end, I left Cub flowerless, and intend to be flowerless for a while. I am struck by the emotion that went with me giving up flowers for a month or two. I guess I don’t live quite as simply as I thought. I guess even frivolous stuff is important to me. And, I am convicted again.

~ by funsize on April 19, 2008.